Sunday, June 27, 2010

The word "Normal".....(warning...this is a rant)

I'm sitting here tonight angry. I'm angry, sad and frustrated. There are many reasons why but one in particular tonight set me off the deep end. Boo has a new tic. He tends to repeat himself (under his breath) after he finishes a sentence. Sometimes he does it before too. I think he's trying to let what he says sink in himself. He has some processing deficits.
So tonight I was trying to find a "name" for this new tic and I came across a message board where a mother of a neuro typical child was going on and on how her son started doing (the same thing Boo does). She was horrified at his behavior and told him he needed to stop it because it wasn't socially appropriate. She used the words "bizarre, weird and not normal".
For some, reading this blog post, may not see the big deal in what she said. Heck, 10 years ago, I maybe would have agreed with her!
Now? I am sickened by her choice of words. It hurts my heart and it makes me angry. It feels like a direct attack on MY child. It's just ONE more thing that people can criticize him for.
I should have prefaced all of this by saying we went to church this morning for the first time in a long time. I shadowed Boo in his first grade class! (They promoted last week). While all the other kiddos were sitting still listening to the short message, Boo was crawling all over the carpet. When it was time to play "Bingo", Boo couldn't read any of the words. When it was time to answer questions, it took Boo too long to understand the question, that he didn't have a chance to answer.
To top all of that off, Bo had a tough time in his class as well. He wanted to sit with his friend who sat towards the back. Well then Bo couldn't see the short movie they showed followed by the worship songs (the words are on the screen). He's 10 so it's not like he feels comfortable saying "Hey, friend, can we go sit up front so I can see better". Then I find out that he didn't get his Bingo card. He said he asked twice but they didn't hear him....so he missed out on that too!
So after all of that, the last thing I wanted to hear is a mother ranting about the possibility of her child not being "normal".
I HATE that word. It infers that if you don't fit in perfectly you're not "normal". What the heck is "normal" anyway? I have yet to see a prototype of "normal". Every human I know has issues. We all have our quirks, our weaknesses, our fears, our limitations. So if being "normal" means you have little to no tolerance for "not normal", then maybe I'll stick to "not normal". I don't like the exclusivity of a club where I have to look and talk like everyone to fit in. Even if that club is termed "life". (end rant)

***I do have to add that Boo won a Bingo game at church (I helped him find the words). He won a piece of candy. He then turned to the little boy next to him and gave him his candy. He did this on his own with no prodding from me. His teacher recognized what he did and gave him another piece :)

1 comment:

Psycho Mom said...

These parents are nuts. Normal is not a word that applies to any human being I have ever come across. I always tell my kids to embrace their weirdness, their differences, their issues. Who wants to be like all the other kids, especially those "normal" kids.