Homeschooling it is.....for now....

I made the executive decision to pull Boo out of preschool this week. Last week he was having some problems on the bus. He took the bus for two days and both of those days were threatened by an older kid. Apparently the school district does not have separate busses for the preschoolers so they are mixed in with some older children. He also was having some problems in his class. His needs would be best met in a class where some "average" children were used to model good behavior.
Boo learns best by example. He was extremely stressed in his class because all of the children were behaviorally challenged. Ironically he was the best behaved in his class but it was due mostly to fear and anxiety.
My job is to find Boo the best possible "program". He needs intense physical and occupational therapy. He also needs speech therapy. He needs extreme structure and lots of visual cues. He will benefit from Pecs cards and from one on one learning.
All of these things have been recommended by several professionals Boo has seen. The school district is aware of Boo's needs and of his Dr's recommendations. Unfortunately, they can only offer him what they have available. (We are not in a position to hire an attorney or an advocate to fight this battle).
Right now, we are going to homeschool him. We are also looking into a few research projects that Boo may be able to take part in. He is also on a waiting list for a special partial day program at UCLA.
I am always amazed by the different hats parents are required to wear when they are parenting a special needs child. So far I have had to be an advocate, diagnostician, nurse, researcher, therapist, secretary, teacher, etc. The list just continues to grow.
As a child, I had complete trust and faith in Dr's. I believed they could diagnose and heal just about anything. I believed this was true for any Dr. that was able to earn the label "MD". My faith has been shattered time and time again in the last several years.
The first several months after Boo started having his severe rages, I would tell his pediatrician over and over that we were really struggling with him. The Dr. kept giving me handouts on handling toddler tantrums. He told me I just needed to be more consistant with him. He never once mentioned the possibility of Fetal Alcohol Effects. (He was aware of Boo's prenatal drug and alcohol exposure) I was not describing typical tantrums. I was describing hours and hours of "raging". I was describing Boo throwing himself down on the hard cement because his clothes were bothering him. I was talking about Boo banging his head on the ground on purpose when he was mad and waking up screaming several times a night. I was a frazzled mom who was saying "Something is NOT right". Have you ever had one of those dreams where you try your hardest to scream and nothing comes out? That is exactly how I feel much of the time.
I just want to end this with one suggestion. The next time you're out in public and you see a child tantruming and a mother who looks like she's about to cry, instead of judging her, pray for her! It is not always "bad parenting" that causes a child to meltdown. I don't know how many times I've heard "What your child needs is a spanking". Yes, thank you. My child does need a spanking. Why didn't I think of that. If I spank him, then maybe his brain damage will just disappear...or maybe his autism will be cured....or he will all of a sudden be able to tell his colors apart....or not run in the street for no reason........
Parenting is a journey, but parenting a special needs child is an Indiana Jones adventure!