Hannah's prayer....

Well....it's been a year since I've updated my blog and there certainly has been a lot that has happened since then but the biggest thing is that we are back in the fost-adopt world again.

Last week we were called to take a 9 day old baby boy weighing only 4 lbs 12 ozs. He was the call we had been praying for. It was a possible adoptive placement which made it extra special.
Ever since we began this journey back into foster care, I have been praying for the children that would be placed with us...most especially the one we would adopt. In my mind, it would be another African American baby boy fresh from the hospital.
The thing is, there are no guarantees in foster care. You have to receive each child with an open heart...knowing that God has a plan for that child...and that plan may include them spending only a short time in your home. I have been praying that God will keep my heart pure. It is easy to become selfish when you hold these sweet babies in your arms. You never want to let them go.

Ok, so skip forward to yesterday.....We have been given the opportunity to name this sweet baby boy we have. His birth mother didn't name him because it was her intention to place him for adoption. Rich and I haven't been able to agree on a name all week. We had a list of them but honestly, neither one of us could commit to any of them. I was getting frustrated with my sweet husband (and myself) for not being able to settle. I should back up for a second and say that the second I saw our baby boy in the hospital, the name "Samuel" popped into my head. I don't know why. I have never particularly cared for that name.
Well, all week long, I kept "seeing" Samuel every time I looked at his sweet face...but I kept saying to everyone..."I don't really like that name but I keep going back to it".

So yesterday morning, Boo talked me into stopping by the grocery store to pick up some more caps for his cap gun (I needed to refill a prescription anyway). When I walked in, I ran into a lady that worked there that I had spoken with last week when I had been in with our 2 month old baby girl (told you we had a busy house ;) ). The lady, who later I found out is Margie, had commented on how beautiful our baby girl was....I told her she was our foster daughter and Margie shared that she has a 6 month old granddaughter. We said our nice to meet you's and went on our way.....so yesterday when I saw her again, she asked how our baby girl was and I showed her our baby boy :) She ohhh'd and ahhhh'd over him and told me how precious he was....then she said to him "God has big plans for you"....to which I said "Yes, I think so too".....she asked me what his name was and I explained our dilemma.....she said "What name do you like?" I told her Owen or Samuel....she looked at me and said "Oh Samuel....the promised one....you know the story of Hannah, right?....She begged God for a child and sent her Samuel." Right then and there, I started crying....I told her that the name Samuel kept coming to me but I didn't know why and I didn't necessarily want to name him that.....all of a sudden, I felt overwhelmed with emotion...as did Margie...we both stood there and cried. The thing that gives me chills is that when I was pregnant with my Hannah, I was having bad contractions early on.....my grandma called me one day and told me I shouldn't worry because her whole bible study group was praying for me and the baby....she said that they had been studying the story of Hannah and that I should consider naming our baby, Hannah. She said she felt like God was telling her, everything was going to be ok. Now, I don't know if God is promising us Samuel forever or not....I would like to think so since I had been praying for him for so long....but either way, God has big plans for our Samuel Owen Vincent..and like Hannah, I will dedicate him back to God and trust in His will and sovereignty.

So this is Christmas.....

I've neglected my blog. I'll admit it. I'm lame at blogging ;) I have so many friends who are expert bloggers. They amaze me with their eloquent words and beautiful pictures.
I aspire to be more like them but alas I'm not.
I have been working hard on Stop FASD Today! The website is coming along. I really need a good web designer to help me so if anyone reading this knows of one that would donate their time/services, please let me know :)

I'm thinking we will be launching the new site in the next few months. It's taking longer than I anticipated but I know it will be worth the wait.

Bo and Boo are doing well. They are busy with school. Boo now knows ALL of his letters!!!! He amazes me every day with his intelligence.

I'm still working on juggling all of Bo and Boo's services but things seem to finally be falling into a nice rhythm.

I can't believe we are in the last week of 2010! Where did this year go? Where did the last 18 years go for that matter? We will be celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary next week and I honestly can remember our wedding day like it was yesterday!

It's been quite a ride but I think the best is yet to come ;)

Merry Christmas to everyone and a very Happy and Blessed New year!!!!

And I'm back.................

Well that last few months have been a bit of a roller coaster ride. I have all sorts of health issues and unfortunately my body decided to get my attention last month by sending me to the ER. I'll spare you the details but what started out as the possibility of Crohns disease ended at the possibility of endometrial cancer. Thankfully I don't have the latter. I had to have a biopsy last week and the results came back benign. I can't tell you how SCARY these past few weeks have been wondering and waiting. It has also been especially crazy because we started back up with school! The boys both have IEP's and evaluations going on. Boo started Speech, OT and academic tutoring and Bo is back with his VI teacher twice a week. I've been running around like a chicken with no head trying to get things into somewhat of a routine and in the midst of all this has been several Dr's appts for me and Boo. Needless to say, I haven't had time to tend to this blog OR to StopFASt. The good news is that now that things are somewhat under control, I'm ready to tackle my project again!
I don't have all the answers to my health issues and I still need to sort a few things out to get to the root cause of things but I am taking it one day at a time. I'm eating healthier, eating less and losing weight! I'm working on changing old habits (bye bye chocolate!) and incorporating new ones (hello veggies!). It's not easy but it's all part of the process of healing!
Until next time........

Life

To say things have been busy would be an understatement. Life has once again taken the form of a tornado. There are so many things going on and no time to truly stop and update or even think for that matter. I'm going to summarize using bullet points because while I'm determined to give an update, I'm literally falling asleep as I type.

*Stop FASt is in the works but is moving slow. I am still in need of a graphic artist so if anyone knows of one willing to do a charity project, please let me know :)

*We started school and haven't had a moment to breathe. There are lots of services to set up and the kids all have different interests, etc so it will be a busy year!

*I've had all sorts of health issues including an ER trip and a few specialists. I've never had the best "stomach" and right now my body is telling me to pay attention to it....so I am...

I could elaborate for hours on all three of those points but will have to save it for another day.

Until next time.....

Quick update...

Stop FASt is coming along although there may be a name change;) I've had a rough couple of weeks with some illnesses but hopefully will soon be on the mend and back in business.
This is a slow process and patience is the key but I know that perseverance will pay off in the end. UCLA has been very gracious and is working hard to make my vision a reality.

Lots more to update...stay tuned!

Stop FASt, give a dollar! (preview)

As I've mentioned before, there is something huge in the works in my life. God has put it on my heart and made it very known to me what I need to do. With the help of a major university, we will be launching a big FASD awareness campaign!!!! This is still in the VERY early stages but I've been given the green light by this university to go ahead with my plan. There are so many details to work out. I have no business background, no marketing background, no public relations background but I somehow will be tackling all of these things and more as I embark on this new chapter of my life. I keep saying "my" but it really is about "us". It will include my family, friends, strangers, my blogging friends/acquaintances and anyone else that is passionate about FASD awareness.
Our vision has several goals.

1. To bring awareness of FASD to every person in the US and
potentially worldwide.
2. To educate Social Services, Physicians (particularly peds and dev. peds),
hospitals, children’s clinics, DCFS, WIC offices, Social workers,
Educators, Administrators, LAW ENFORCEMENT, etc on the
REALITY of FASD. (ie: What does it look like? Treatment?
Prevention? Prevalence?)
3. To raise enough awareness that would generate funds for an FASD
research/treatment center at UCLA.
4. To bring together all grassroots operations around the country who
have the same vision of getting awareness out into their communities.
5. Uniting the fight against FASD with the simple idea that anyone can
help end FASD by simply donating a $1.

Now I realize someone living in a different state than Ca. might not see the benefit of donating money to opening a research and assessment center so far away but these centers are so desperately needed everywhere. There are some great hospitals and universities around the country right now that do offer diagnosis of FASD's but they are few and far between. The need is great and the time is now.

I do not want to see my son fall through the cracks anymore. I do not want my son to become another statistic. I do not want my friends children to be a statistic either. 80% of inmates NATIONWIDE have been through the foster care system at one point in their lives. Up to 70% of foster children have been affected by alcohol. These stats are frightening. Alcohol exposure in utero leads to permanent brain damage. Brain damage that includes but is not limited to: loss of executive brain function, poor impulse control, hyperactivity, poor memory, lower IQ, learning disabilities, stunted emotional growth (fewer than 10% of people with FASD are able to achieve success with working and living independently).

So where do we go from here? Well, I'm praying that God will pave a clear path for me and honestly, I'm doing this one step at a time through Him.

If you have a child with FASD and are reading this, please let me know if you would like to help (even praying is GREATLY appreciated). Right now we are in the planning and development stage and I am unclear on a lot of things. I am very excited to be doing this and will share at a later time how it all came to be in the first place.

That's all for now since it's nearly midnight and I still need to clean up the house a bit before I hit the sack. Until next time.......

It's like trying to wash your windows during a hurricane.....

As I said in my last post, I'm working on cleaning/organizing/simplifying. It's a process but it's been consistent. I'm proud of the work I've accomplished so far because I'm seeing results and am so happy with the changes I'm making. However, the title of this post says it all.
While I'm working on cleaning out a cupboard, Boo is raging over something in another room, making a huge mess. He needs one on one time nearly constantly. He needs reminders, redirection and someone who knows how to "change the channel" in his brain when he gets stuck on something.
I'm typing on my laptop that has several missing keys because Boo was mad and ripped them off the other day. This was after he raged in his own room and dumped every toy out of his bins/closet/etc. It's tiresome to constantly deal with unreasonable little brains. It's exhausting.
So I have to give myself grace and realize that Rome wasn't built in a day. The house will get cleaned and organized but it will get messy and disorganized again.
Baby steps. Just like Boo learning to control his rage and Bo learning braille. Two steps forward, one step back.
Until next time.....